vvaddles:

U know when you were a kid and won a game in first place and there was that little bitch who went “first is the worst second is the best” like how the fuck did that even make sense

officialunitedstates:

it is not your fault if you fail.  you are made up of billions of cells.  it is their fault

waywardchappy:

I always read FAQ as fack and I don’t plan on changing this

runs-on-reindeer:

When my sister was in the Marines some little shit told her to make him a sandwich so she went to his boss and they used money from the asshole’s next paycheck to order subs for the entire squadron

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